Split Image
by BeautifulDreamer2
Summary: Usagi is broken hearted and who does she turn to? Rated R for later chapters!U/H! R
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I've noticed that everyone seems to do this, although I don't see the point because I don't own Sailor Moon, but since everyone else is doing it…I don't own SM, never have, never will.

A/N: This is my first shot at a fic, so bear with me and keep it in mind that this might not be the best. Basic idea: Mamoru is acting distant and Usagi doesn't understand why. When things go wrong, Usagi turns to someone for comfort, but who will it be? (I don't know myself yet but there is a possible f/f thing coming up…lemon? Is that what it's called?) Reviews are appreciated and wanted. Thanks! 

Chapter 1: Heat Wave

Usagi sighed and pushed back a strand of hair that fell across her eye listlessly. The old green fan clicked and clattered as it struggled to churn the thick air, and on its last slow rotation, it coughed and died. Usagi groaned and sat up slowly; the heat was making her thin silk shirt cling damply to her body and her shorts stick to the tops of her thighs. With the old fan now dead, the air hung heavily in her room. Usagi pushed the yellowed buttons of the fan, hoping that maybe the button had just gotten stuck. When the fan did not start again, Usagi moaned. 

She didn't have enough money to buy another fan and even if she did, it was too hot to walk to the store. Usagi sighed and pushed herself to her feet. The agonizing heat was unbearable, it made it hard to move or even function. 

"Wish I'd have gone with Mum and Dad." She mumbled as she shuffled to the bathroom, turning on the shower. Even a boring business trip would have been better than boiling inside her home. Then again, she hadn't known that the temperature would exceed 110 degrees in the first couple of weeks of summer. 

Usagi peeled off her clothes and slipped into the shower. The cold water beat down on her face and she sighed as the sticky feeling of heat was washed away and replaced with the calming fluidity of water.

She sank down against the wall of the shower, content to let the water massage her scalp and trickle over her nude body. As she sat, she let her mind wander. Mamo-chan had been acting odd lately…distant, impatient and preoccupied. No matter how hard Usagi tried to reach him, it was as if he didn't hear her…he was just off in some sort of fog. He studied all the time and never had any time to spend with her. When she tried to ask him what was bothering him, he would brush her off and tell her he didn't have time for her to be overprotective and immature. 

Usagi clenched her fingers into the palm of her hand, not noticing when the little half-moon crescents pooled with blood and trickled onto her thigh. 

She tried not to let Mamoru's coldness get to her, and as usual, hid her emotions beneath a clumsy mask. His distance really didn't hurt her. She knew he was just stressed out about school and things going on with the Scouts but his detached replies and snapped out answers hurt her. 

She couldn't think of anything that she had done wrong and no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't figure out what was wrong with him. 

Her stomach clenched painfully. Usagi wrapped her arms around her middle. Tears were starting to burn her throat and her eyes and she blinked rapidly to try to clear her vision. There was no reason for her to cry. Things would work out just fine, they always did. Mamo-chan was just stressed out and he would be back to normal in a couple of days. There was nothing to worry about. Usagi sniffed and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand. Then she stood up, squeezed some shampoo into her hands and worked it through her hair mechanically. 

As soon as all the fruity smelling shampoo was out of her long tresses, Usagi turned the water off and stepped out of the shower. The mirror was fogged up because she had forgotten to turn the fan on and she had to wipe at the mirror to see her reflection. As she did so, blood smeared across the surface of the mirror and Usagi stared at it. She hadn't realized that her hand was bleeding.

Her eyes shifted and focused on her reflected image. She was standing there naked; beads of water still rolling down her round breasts and collecting in her bellybutton. Her long hair was slicked down with water, stuck in thick strands to her arms and the backs of her legs. Usagi looked at her face. Her eyes were the same dull blue color they had always been, and they were filmy with tears and lack of sleep. Her nose was still the same nose, slightly turned up at the end, dusted with a few freckles. A new light brown mole had just come in above the corner of her lip, and she frowned at it. She didn't need anything else messing up her face. It was undesirable enough as it was. Usagi glanced back up and met her own eyes in the mirror. They were smudged with purple underneath them. She hadn't gotten much sleep lately, what with Mamo-chan being the way he was being.

Usagi sighed and smoothed some moisturizer onto her face and body, before leaving the room with a towel wrapped around her body.

Back in her room, she opened the window, hoping that maybe a breeze had started. No such luck. She groaned and pushed the inert fan off her desk and into the garbage can. Desperately, she looked through her closet for some cool clothes. Pushing aside her denim shorts and pants, she couldn't find anything.

"Maybe Mum has something…"she mumbled and opened the door to her mother's room. It was cooler in there, with the shades drawn. The sun didn't hit this side of the house, and it was notably cooler. Usagi made her way to her mother's closet and pushed open the door. She fumbled around in the dark for a moment, trying to find the light switch, and then flicked it on. It took a moment to turn on but then it hummed and the walk in closet was lighted. 

Her mom had packed almost all of her summer clothes for the trip with her husband, leaving behind only the things that didn't fit anymore and were way outdated. Usagi pushed around the clothes on hangers, thinking that maybe there was something among the winter wardrobe but nothing was. She sighed and sat down. It was nice and cool in the closet for some reason, Usagi noted. She shrugged and looked through her mom's shoes. 

Then something caught her eye. There was a shoe box in the back corner, hidden beneath a duffel bag. Usagi pulled it out and opened the lid hesitantly. She felt bad for snooping and hoped that it wasn't something embarrassing like love letters from her dad to her mom or anything. 

It wasn't. Inside, folded neatly was a white silk summer dress. Usagi pulled it out of the box; it was long, light and breezy. She had to try it on.

Usagi pulled it over her head, not minding that her hair was still wet or that the silk would cling to her like a second skin. The silk slid over her skin sensuously, sending goose bumps down her arms and legs, making her nipples pebble.

She looked at herself in the full length mirror hanging on the door. The dress had thin straps, and a low, scooped neckline that showed a little hint of cleavage. Three tiny pearl buttons adorned the center of the bust, and the dress clung to Usagi's curves and flowed smoothly about her thighs down to just below her knees. Usagi smiled. It felt as if she was not wearing a thing, and she felt beautiful wearing it. 

Maybe Mamo-chan would forgive her if he saw her wearing this. Usagi smoothed her hair, which was flowing free about her, and smiled again. Yes, maybe Mamo-chan would want to spend time with her if he saw her like this. 

Making up her mind to go see him that very moment, Usagi ran to her room, put some gloss on her lips and a spritz of rose perfume on her wrists and neck. Glancing at herself in the moon-shaped mirror, she decided that she looked pretty. The white color was good on her, bringing out her glowing complexion and sparkling eyes. She smiled at herself, put her wide-brimmed, floppy straw sunhat on her head, slipped her feet into some white, high heeled strappy sandals and ran out the door. 


	2. Her Imperfections

Disclaimer: Same old thing, I don't own Sailor Moon, never did, never will.

A/N: This is the second chapter, and things start to explain themselves a little more. Reviews would be appreciated. Thanks! 

~Beautiful-chan

Chapter Two: Her Imperfections

The arcade was almost deserted, the few people that had been brave enough to dare the heat for the afternoon sat slouched in the dimmed booths, sipping ice water or spooning melted ice cream into their mouths. The games beeped occasionally and the jukebox breathed out a jazzy melody. 

At a table in the corner, sat Haruka, writing in a notebook furiously, her brow wrinkled. Strands of her sandy blonde hair fell into her intent eyes, her fingers clenching the ball point pen in a death grip as she tried to write a letter. 

The hanging light over her head was making her sweat, a little bead rolled off her nose and splattered on the paper. Frustrated, Haruka dropped the pen and ripped the page out of her notebook, crumpling it up between her hands and throwing it across the table. With a groan, she sat back in the booth.

Haruka rubbed her eyes and cupped her chin with her strong hand, staring out the window thoughtfully. She needed to figure out how to tell her how she felt. It was hard. Telling someone you love them always is. Haruka shook her head. This wasn't working. Maybe she should just forget about confessing her feelings at all; it wasn't worth the chance of rejection.

But no, she wanted to tell her. She needed to tell her. Haruka closed her eyes, wincing as she remembered an important detail. No, she wouldn't tell her, not yet, not now. 

Haruka opened her green eyes and stared out the window blankly.

Usagi walked down the scorched sidewalks slowly, watching her shadow jump and disappear as she passed beneath trees and by the shops lining the street. No one was out walking, save a few devoted joggers who were plodding along slowly, bottle of water in hand.

Usagi passed by the arcade windows without looking in. Intent in her thoughts, she didn't see Haruka's body stiffen as she spotted Usagi walking past. 

A flash of white and gold caught Haruka's eye and she focused on a beautiful girl walking past in a whimsical white dress and an over-sized floppy sunhat with a loose white bow. Usagi didn't see her, of which Haruka was glad. Usagi looked gorgeous, with her hair loose and flowing about her like a curtain of woven sunshine. 

Knots tightened in Haruka's stomach when she realized what direction Usagi was headed in. Mamoru's apartment building was just around the corner. 

_Mamoru…baka_, Haruka thought angrily. The bastard was playing games with Usako, it was plain to see. He didn't call Usako anymore, didn't have time to spend with her, was an asshole whenever he was around Usagi and treated her like shit. If it had been Haruka's decision, he would have been out of the picture long before. Maybe now Usako would realize that he was not the man for her, and that she needed someone else.

Maybe…

Haruka sighed and shook her head, telling herself to forget it. Michiru was long gone, having gone to Europe to try to make it further in the music world. 

Haruka winced at the memory:

_Flashback:_

_Michiru opened the door of their apartment and closed the door quietly behind her. Haruka was sitting on the window sill, gazing silently at the ocean that stretched as far as she could see._

_"So, you get to go." Haruka said, her voice rough. The sun was setting on the water, making it shimmer and dance with light. It was beautiful. In silence she waited for Michiru to answer her, hoping that the answer she gave would not hurt._

_"Yes, Ruka. I do get to go and it's making my dream of playing with the best come true. Do you understand that…can you understand that?" Michiru asked in her quiet way, tentatively coming across the room to stand a few feet behind Haruka. It was impossible to tell her thoughts, Haruka's face was blank as she stared at the sun setting but when Michiru spoke again, she saw her wince slightly before the emotion was gone._

_"Come with me, Ruka, we can start over in __France__. You love it there, you can race and I can play and we can be normal. It is not our duty to stay here any longer." She pleaded softly._

_Haruka closed her eyes slowly and when she opened them she said the words that broke Michiru's heart and her own. "Michiru, I can't come with you. I won't come with you."_

_Michiru took a step back, her heart hurting. No tears came to her eyes but pain etched itself across her face and shone in her blue eyes._

_"You love her, don't you, Ruka." It was not a question, but the statement of an obvious fact. "You would stay here in this…this…"Michiru searched for a word, "this hell, for her? She does not love you, Haruka. She has him to love and you know that she would never willingly leave and forsake him for you." Her voice broke and she stopped speaking._

_Haruka didn't flinch at her words, just stared impassively out the window. The sun illuminated her masculine features and staring at her, Michiru realized that Haruka did not care whether or not her love would be returned. She would stay and protect and love her until the day came when she died. _

_Pain stabbed at Michiru and jealousy, but she pushed them away, determined to leave with dignity._

_"I'm leaving as soon as I pack my things. The plane leaves the airport at __ten o'clock__." _

_"I'll give you a ride to the airport." Haruka said softly._

_Michiru shook her head, "No, I already called a cab." She walked back to the bedroom and began to pack her clothes and belongings into one brown suitcase. It didn't take long, she didn't have much. Michiru lovingly placed her violin in its case and pulled on her traveling coat and gloves. She walked silently to the door, suitcase and violin case in hand and slipped on her shoes. She opened the door and was about to leave without saying goodbye when she paused and looked back._

_Haruka hadn't moved from her spot on the window seat, Michiru could only see her strong, beautiful profile and her heart was breaking slowly within her._

_"Ruka?" She asked, holding the door open with her free hand._

_Haruka turned her head and looked at Michiru. Her face was expressionless but her green eyes shone with sadness._

_"Ruka, what makes you love her so much?" Michiru forced herself to ask. She needed to know why._

_Haruka hesitated, looked away, then looked back at Michiru, "Her imperfections." She said softly._

_Michiru stood still for a moment and then nodded. "Goodbye, Haruka. You know where I will be if anything ever changes." _

_Haruka shook her head, "Nothing will. Goodbye." She didn't watch her first love and closest friend walk out the door and close it behind her silently. The pain she felt in her heart, she still kept hid. She turned her head and stared out at the now darkening ocean, and as she watched the sunlight completely disappear, a single tear rolled down her cheek._

_End Flashback_

Haruka shook herself out of her painful thoughts and stood up, stretching her arms above her head. Looking at her watch, she decided she should probably head home and get dinner started; Hotaru was coming over for dinner tonight. 

 She gathered up her notebook and pen, and then picked up her multiple wads of paper, tossing them carelessly into the garbage outside the arcade. She didn't notice when the last one bounced off the rim and landed on the sidewalk.


	3. Pieces

Disclaimer: I don't own SM, if you thought I did, you need to get help.

A/N: 3rd chapter finally up! Woohoo! A few moments to those who took the time to review my story while it was on the "sign in and review" thing. I didn't know how to work that entire bit yet, but I just wanted to answer the questions asked of me. To clarify: Usagi isn't poor, not by any means. She didn't have enough money to buy a fan because she was only supposed to spend the money her parents sent to her weekly on groceries and the essentials…I guess I should have said that. Oh well, thanks **Bunny Winner for helping me out! To the other person…**Reandn**, to let you know, no, Usagi and Mamoru will not be getting back together. That disgusts me when it happens like that. Thanks for your time! Enjoy!**

Chapter three: Pieces

Usagi pushed open the door to Mamoru's apartment building, sighing as cool air rushed out to meet her, calming her heat flushed cheeks. The walk over hadn't been so bad, save for the fact that she had been thinking about collapsing on the sidewalk and melting away into nothing. Usagi wrinkled her nose, noticing herself in the mirror-paneled walls in the entrance to the apartment building. 

Her hat was sitting slightly askew on her head, and the strap of her dress had slipped over her shoulder. She straightened her hat as she walked to the elevator, shrugged the strap back over her shoulder and pushed the up button. A chime binged as the doors opened and Usagi stepped into the stuffy elevator. Mamoru's apartment was on the top floor, and Usagi pushed the button with the six on it in, before leaning back against the cool back wall.

The elevator lurched and started ascending. The butterflies in Usagi's stomach were threatening to heave up her small breakfast. What if he got mad and yelled at her for disturbing him? She knew that this was his day off from working at the hospital as an intern and he usually liked to sleep or lounge around but…well, maybe he'd been happy to see her this time.  

Another chime ringed and the doors swooshed open. Usagi pushed herself away from the wall and down the coolly lit hallway. Mamo-chan's apartment was the last one on the left, at the end of the hall. He had a view of the park and the business section of Tokyo from his small balcony. She could remember standing there with him as the sun set, watching the couples in the park walk around hand in hand, knowing that she was one of those couples. It was at those times, when one of his arms was loosely draped across her shoulder that she was never surer of herself and her love for Mamo-chan.

 Now, standing at his door, she had never felt so unsure of herself. There were no sounds coming from inside his apartment and if he was asleep, he would probably be angry at her for waking him up. Usagi sighed at herself and backed away from the door, she wouldn't take the chance of making him angry with her. 

As she was about to turn around to leave, she heard Mamo-chan's deep laugh, resounding off the walls and stinging her. Who was he laughing with? 

Usagi knocked on the door, softly at first but when he didn't answer, she rapped louder. Mamo-chan's laughing stopped and she heard him say something as he neared the door. There was a moment of silence and Usagi heard him fumbling with the lock on the door before it swung open as far as the chain allowed.

Mamoru was standing there, his shirt off and his black hair rumpled as if he had just rolled out of bed. A shadow of facial hair ringed his mouth and darkened his cheeks and his lips were full and rosy. His eyes had been laughing as he opened the door but when he saw who it was standing there, they immediately lost all sparkle and became cold and distant.

"Usagi-san, what are you doing here?" He asked. The coldness in his voice stung her and Usagi took a step backward. Had he just greeted her so formally? Maybe she was mistaken; Mamo-chan would never call her something like that. It was always Usako or Odango. Never something so formal, the formality was for strangers.

Usagi shook off his coolness and smiled hopefully, "I came to see you, Mamo-chan. You haven't been yourself lately and I was wondering if it was something I did…" She paused, watching his face for any sign that he heard her, there was none. His face was as distant as it had been before. She rushed on, "You tell me you don't have time for this," She gestured at herself, "Time for me to worry and be immature but I don't think that I am, Mamo-chan. I'm worried about you; you've been acting so…cold lately. I don't know if it's because of work or stress or maybe…,"She paused and took a breath, "…maybe I did something wrong but whatever it is, would you please tell me? I don't know how to fix it if I don't know what it is I've done wrong." Usagi hated herself, hated how desperate and pleading her voice was, annoying even in her ears but she couldn't stop herself. She needed to know if it was something she had done. 

Mamo-chan hadn't moved as she spoke but now he shifted on his feet, "Usagi-san, you are reading too much into this. I have been stressed out but there is nothing more to it than that. You should go home and stay there. I'm not in the mood to talk with you right now." He said, dismissing her even as pain stabbed through her.

"Mamo-chan, why are you acting this way? I don't—," Her voice broke and she looked away, "I don't understand. Was it something I did?"

Mamoru sighed deeply and was about to answer when a husky, feminine voice came from over Mamoru's shoulder. "Mamoru-chan? What's going on?" The door closed and then opened again, as the chain was removed.

A sultry woman with auburn hair was draped over Mamo-chan's shoulder. Usagi took a step backward, her breath catching in her throat. "Mamo-chan?" She asked helplessly, looking from the woman back to Mamoru who was standing there impassively, arms crossed in front of him.

The redhead cocked her head, dark gray eyes regarding Usagi as a cat would stare at a mouse. An amused smile crept slowly over her lips, and a calculating look glinted in her eyes. "Is this the girl, Mamoru-chan?" She murmured. Her voice was deep and husky, the kind of voice that made men want her and other women hate her. It was the kind of voice that lured faithful men away from their wives without a backward glance.

Usagi watched as if from a distance as her beloved Mamo-chan nodded, "Yes." His strong arm snaked around the woman's waist and she leaned into him, her large breasts crushing against his side.

"She's rather young to screw with, isn't she, Mamoru-chan?" She asked, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow. As Usagi watched, she flicked her tongue against Mamo-chan's arm, a satisfied smile stealing onto her mouth when his muscle jumped and his eyes darkened with desire.

Mamoru didn't answer, just stared at Usagi, watching as a light in her eyes sputtered and went out.

Usagi pressed the back of her hand to her mouth and shook her head, unable to avert her eyes, even as her vision blurred with tears. She backed away, then turned and ran, slamming her open palm onto the down button of the elevator. When the doors opened, she fell into the empty cabin, collapsing against the wall. 

Pain clenched in her stomach and it felt as if a giant hand had reached into her body and was squeezing her heart tightly. Usagi leaned her head against the cool wall, the tears that were blurring her eyes spilled over and she was sobbing, clutching futilely at her chest, as her heart broke within her.

Flashes of the auburn woman licking Mamo-chan's skin were stuck in an endless motion in her mind's eye. The look in Mamo-chan's eyes when he saw her trying to not fall to pieces before him ate away at her; so cold and distant. There was no empathy or regret in his eyes, only a remoteness that Usagi couldn't span with her unconditional warmth and love.

In the elevator, with the air conditioner humming, Usagi's caring and innocent heart shattered into a million kaleidoscope pieces on the floor at her first love's betrayal.

A/N: This chapter didn't exactly work out how I wanted it to, it was too choppy and in my own opinion, it didn't flow together enough. But I've never been one good with doing those heart-wrenching scenes. My apologies to those of you who thought this chapter sucked as much as I do. However, I would ask you not to give up on me, the next chapter will be up shortly after this one, and it will be getting more into Usa/Haruka. Finally!!^_^

Thanks for sticking with me!

BeautifulDreamer


	4. Breathless

Disclaimer: Don't own SM!*sniffle*

A/N: Hello again. I'm trying to get the fifth chapter out as I speak but first I have to get this one up and running. Thank you to those of you who have taken the time to read and review…I really appreciate it.

Chapter Four: Breathless

The doorbell chimed and Haruka threw off her oven mitt and swung open the door, out of breath from her dash from the oven.

"Gomen." She breathed out, her sandy hair stuck up at odd angles. "I think the soup is burning." With that, she ran back to the kitchen.

Hotaru smiled and shook her head, closing the door. From the kitchen she could hear Haruka swearing under her breath and the sound of a pot hitting the ground and liquid spilling all over.

"Haruka-chan?" She called, peeking around the doorway of the kitchen, biting back a smile at the sight that greeted her.

Haruka was standing in the middle of the kitchen, the handle of a pot in one hand and the stainless steel lid in the other. The pot, which was now sans handle and lid, was lying on its side in a sea of greenish-brown soup. Haruka was scowling deeply at the mess, and the splatter stains on her white slacks. "Dammit." She muttered and dropped the lid and handle into the sink with a clank.

Haruka sighed and sloshed through the mess, not minding that her socks were turning an ugly shade of puke. She rolled her eyes at Hotaru, "I'm going to go take a shower, how about after I get cleaned up we go out to eat? You can pick the place." 

"That sounds fine. Hurry though, I'm hungry." Hotaru called as the bathroom door shut in the master bedroom.

Haruka stepped into the shower, briskly rubbing the soap all over her body and shampooing her hair with Michiru's _Ocean shampoo. The smell brought back memories of nights full of love making and soft laughter. Haruka washed out her hair as quickly as possible, resolving to throw the shampoo away as soon as she got out of the shower. _

She shut off the water as soon as she was clean of foamy soap and grabbed a towel. It didn't take long to dry the water from her long, lean body, which was more muscular than curvy. Her body was not something she was ashamed of, her face was handsome, and her body was masculine. She didn't like to feel pretty and the fact that her body would never be something considered beautiful didn't bother her.

Back in her room, she pulled a pair of black slacks out of her drawer and pulled them on over her boxers, then pulled open her closet doors, going through her selection of shirts until she found the green one that she wanted. She pulled it on and buttoned it up, then yanked on socks and walked out of the bedroom.

"Hotaru-chan, where do you want to go?" Hotaru was sitting on the couch, watching the news. An earthquake had hit San Francisco, California in the United States earlier that day. A '7', the man stated seriously. Then a film started, showing a building collapsed onto the street and a car covered with bricks and debris. 

Hotaru clicked off the television and stood up. "I thought we could go to the sea food place that opened by the mall." 

Haruka shrugged, "Sounds good. Ready?" 

Hotaru nodded and grabbed her purple purse from beside the couch.

They put on their shoes, and Haruka slipped on her black leather jacket, before they went out and locked the door.

In the car, Haruka sat silently, thinking as she maneuvered through the evening traffic. Had Usako gone to Mamoru's apartment yet? What had happened? 

Haruka gritted her teeth, the bastard had better have been nice to her. If he had hurt her in one way or made her cry…Haruka shook her head. It wasn't her place to do anything about what happened between Usagi and Mamoru. All she could do was sit back and wait until Usagi came to her and asked her to do something. _Then_, Haruka promised herself, _then that bastard would get it._

"Haruka-chan?" Hotaru asked her voice quiet as usual. "Was that Usagi-chan we just drove by?"

Haruka glanced in her rear-view mirror. A girl in a white dress was walking very slowly down the sidewalk toward the park. Even as she watched, the girl pulled off a straw sunhat and let it drop to the ground before she disappeared around a corner into the park.

"That was her." Haruka said, her voice laced with concern. "Hotaru-chan, do you think you could walk home from here? I need to go see Usagi-chan, and I don't know how long it's going to take."

Hotaru nodded and got out of the car as they pulled over into a parking space on the side of the road. "Will you call me when you find out if she's okay?" She asked, tucking her hair behind an ear.

"Yeah, I will." Haruka said as she locked the car and bounded down the sidewalk in the direction that Usagi had gone.

Haruka paused to pick up Usagi's sunhat and started to run faster, her heart in her throat. There was a smear of blood on the white bow.

"Usako! Usako!" She yelled, frantically turning her head about, oblivious to the surprised stares of the couples and families at the park for the afternoon. No where did she see a girl with golden hair in a white dress. "Usako!" She called out, her voice strained. 

Then she spotted a flash of white down at the end of the dock. "Usako!" 

Usagi stood at the end of the dock, tears rolling down her cheeks. So this is what it felt like to be empty, she mused. The pain was gone, except for the occasional stab in her heart, there was nothing. No anger, no hate, no longing. Just pain. 

Usagi sat down, letting her legs hang over the water. There were concrete blocks holding the legs of the dock up. At this point, you couldn't see the bottom. Usagi guessed it was maybe five feet off the dock to the surface of the water. 

"Usako!" Someone was calling her name…the name that Mamoru always used to call her. 

She didn't turn around, just sat there, trying to forget the pain. The air was starting to get cooler, or maybe it only felt like it was getting cooler because she was down on the lake. Usagi couldn't tell and she didn't care. It was four in the afternoon by this time, she thought, and everyone would be going home soon to eat dinner and relax inside with their loved ones. 

Everyone except her. Usagi longed for her mom, and dad and even her annoying brother. They would be gone for the entire summer though, not getting home until just before school started back up. After the business meeting, they would be going to the United States to visit her mother's college friend for a couple of weeks, and then they would be traveling to the different states for the rest of the time.

Usagi would be alone until then. Mamoru would be with that woman who touched him in ways that Usagi never got to touch him, Rei would be with Ami; they'd been together for almost a month now and things seemed to be going well; Minako was with some idol; Makoto had her cooking; Hotaru wasn't alone because she had all of them; Michiru was in France and Haruka…well…Haruka was untouchable.

"Usagi-chan?" A deep voice from behind startled her and Usagi lost her balance feeling her body fall forward, closing her eyes as she prepared to hit the water.

But the slap of water never came and Usagi realized that she was cradled to a hard chest and strong arms were holding her close keeping her from falling. She opened her eyes slowly, titling her head up.

Haruka looked down at her, her green eyes full of concern and something else, but before Usagi could identify it, Haruka was pushing her away gently and when she looked back into Haruka's eyes, the emotion was gone, hidden beneath a mask. 

"Gomen, Usagi-chan, I didn't mean to startle you. Are you okay?" Usagi didn't say anything. She was just staring at Haruka, startled at how her heart was pounding and twisting, not with pain but with something else. It had always done this when she was around Haruka, always before she thought it was fear or intimidation, but now, she knew it was none of those that made her breathless. It was something far more serious but it was too early to name it.

"Usagi-chan, are you okay?" Haruka repeated, a line crinkling between her eyebrows. She put her hand on Usagi's shoulder, and was surprised when Usagi leaned into her, resting her head on Haruka's flat chest. Haruka's heart jumped and hesitantly, she put her arms around Usagi.

Usagi put her hands over her face and started to sob, hot tears stinging her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. Haruka held her, resting her chin on Usagi's blonde head.

"Usako, what happened?" She asked softly, unaware that the endearment had slipped out. Usagi kept on crying, unable to get any words out between her heart-wrenching sobs.

Haruka sighed, "You're coming back to my place." She slipped an arm under Usagi's knees and picked her up. Usagi wrapped her arms around Haruka's neck and cried softly into her shoulder.

A/N: Okay, that's it for chapter four. Again, it was kind of choppy, and I'm not sure it turned out as well as I would have liked but I don't think I could do any better than that. The whole emotional stuff…I'm just not good at it. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me. I'll have a more…romantic, one on one time with Usagi and Haruka next chapter…promise!


	5. Pourquoi pleurezvous?

Disclaimer: Same ol' same ol'

A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter!

Chapter five: Pourquoi pleurez-vous?

Haruka fumbled with her keys at the door of her apartment. Usagi was still cradled in her arms; she had cried herself to sleep on the car ride home, now she was sleeping peacefully, her face nestled into Haruka's neck. It was distracting, Haruka could feel her warm breath flutter on her neck and it was making it hard to concentrate on anything except for the softness of the girl in her arms.

Finally the key went into the lock, and Haruka turned it, opened the door and closed it behind her softly with her foot. She made her way to the bedroom, not bothering to turn on the light; she knew her way around the room and managed to get to the bed without tripping. 

She pulled back the covers and reluctantly placed Usagi in bed, her body was now cold in the places Usagi had been touching and she longed to pick the sleeping girl back up and just hold her close. Haruka backed up, knowing she needed to leave the room before she did something she would regret. 

Usagi whimpered in her sleep and rolled restlessly onto her side. Haruka found herself back at the edge of the bed, sitting down only inches away from her. In her sleep, Usagi's face contorted with pain and she cried out. Haruka's heart ached for her, Usako hadn't told her what had happened but if it made her sleep uneasily, it must have been bad. 

Usagi's long golden hair was spread out around her, spiraling in little ringlets off the side of the bed and fanned over the pillow in a beautiful disarray.

Haruka had an urge to twine a ringlet around her finger, or just run her hands through the thick spun gold. Quickly, she stamped it down. She tried to focus on anything, anything at all besides Usagi and the feelings she was having for her.

The blinds were still open and through the window, Haruka could see the sun was slowly descending in the sky. From where she was at, the ocean wasn't visible but she knew how it would look as the sun got closer and closer to sinking into it. She had spent many nights watching the ocean eat the sun and she could play sunset back in her mind whenever she closed her eyes. 

Haruka stood up and stretched, then bent down to pull of the sandals that were still on Usagi's delicate feet. She impulsively kissed the curve of Usagi's calf before pulling the covers up to the girl's chin. Grabbing the shoes, she walked out of the bedroom, leaving it open a crack in case she woke up crying during the night.

The sliding door to the balcony was open but the humid breeze flowing into the stuffy apartment felt good, so Haruka left it open. 

She dropped Usagi's shoes by the door, and then picked up the portable phone to call Hotaru. 

She listened to the phone ring, and then smiled when Hotaru answered in her soft voice that held so much wisdom.

"Hotaru-chan, it's me…yeah I found her at the dock… I don't know, she didn't seem okay…No, I called her name but she just didn't hear me…I don't know…it could have been something between them…No, she didn't tell me…why? She was crying…she's over here now, she cried herself to sleep in the car…no, no…No, Hotaru-chan, I don't have any feelings like that—No…I really don't…Look, I don't want to talk about it now, alright…yeah, maybe tomorrow…yeah, okay…yeah…hey, Hotaru-chan, is there anyone I should call? No? Alright…okay…yeah, I'll see you tomorrow… ja ne." Haruka hung up the phone and put it back in its cradle. Hotaru was perceptive, she knew that Haruka felt something for Usagi and she'd voiced her opinions over the phone tonight.

_"You have feelings for her, Haruka-chan."_ She had said, seemingly ignoring Haruka's protests that she didn't. 

Haruka groaned and flopped onto the soft leather couch, staring at the shadows the setting sun cast on the ceiling. This was agony, she decided. Having her one true desire in the next room asleep and not being able to touch her or hold her. It was agonizing. What was she dreaming about, with her whimpers and her mind so far away dreaming. Haruka ached to be in there with her, lying beside her and holding her close to her body, feeling her chest rise and fall with each breath and her heart beat against her own. 

It was lonely being in love alone. 

Haruka went to sit on the window seat, pulling her knees up to her chin and resting her arms on them thoughtfully. Now she could see the ocean…it was like this the night Michiru left. Haruka waited for the pain that normally came with any thought of her first love. None came, only regret for not parting on better terms. Haruka sighed and closed her eyes, tilting her head back until it rested against the wall.

She must have fallen asleep because when Haruka opened her eyes it was nighttime. Wondering what had woken her up, Haruka stood up and listened. The sliding glass door was still open and she moved lithely across the room to close it. On her way back to the couch, Haruka paused at the bedroom door and looked in. Sobs were coming from Usagi's figure on the bed. 

_So that's what woke me up_, Haruka thought. She walked into the room and without hesitation sat on the free side of the bed next to Usagi. "Usagi-chan?" She whispered, placing her large, strong hand on Usagi's shaking back. 

Usagi kept on crying, her head buried in Haruka's pillow. _Wonderful, she thought wryly, __a soggy pillow. "Usagi-chan, come here." She said soothingly, pulling the sobbing girl into her arms, and holding her close. "Cherie, ma petite…" She murmured into Usagi's hair, "Ah, ma belle…c'est bien… Pourquoi pleurez-vous?"_

Usagi didn't answer but her sobs did grow quieter and less often until finally she had stopped crying.

"Usagi-chan?" Haruka asked softly, wondering if she had fallen back to sleep.

"Hai?" Usagi whispered, her voice hoarse from crying. She was relaxing in Haruka's arms, she could hear her heartbeat beneath her ear and the steady, strong sound comforted her in a way that she could not describe.

"What happened today?"

Usagi took a breath; it hurt to breathe in too deeply. "I went to Mamo-ch…Mamoru's apartment. I found this dress in my mother's closet and I thought maybe if I was beautiful…maybe he'd want me. I thought maybe he'd tell me what was the matter with him. Why he was so distant. I thought if I was beautiful in that dress it would make him want me." She said, her voice breaking. It sounded so stupid and naïve now that she said it out loud, Haruka was probably laughing silently at her ignorance.

Haruka was not laughing silently. She was in shock. Usagi did not think she was beautiful, with or without that dress. Impossible and yet even as Haruka thought it was impossible for Usagi not to know her own beauty, she knew that it was true. Usagi was insecure about her body and who she was, especially when it came to Mamoru. He made her feel unworthy about herself. _Baka, she thought angrily but Usagi was talking again and she forced herself to listen without interruption._

"Well, I got there finally, it was so hot outside and I felt like falling over in a faint but I knew that if I got to Mamoru's he'd forgive me. I stood outside his door for a couple of minutes, thinking that he was probably sleeping and that maybe I'd come back later so I wouldn't make him mad." Usagi stopped, her voice catching. She could see the entire scene again in her mind's eye. The redhead draping over Mamo-chan's shoulder, smiling maliciously, licking his arm, Mamo-chan's eyes darkening in a way they never had for her…Usagi shook herself and pushed herself to finish telling what had happened.

"I…I heard him laugh from inside and so I knocked. He was talking to someone, still laughing when he opened the door as far as the chain would go…the laughter was gone as soon as he saw me standing there. I asked him if he would tell me what was going on with him lately…he wouldn't tell me. He just said that he didn't have time for me to be acting like that I should go home and stay there…," Usagi trailed off, her pride making it difficult to tell what happened next.

"Then what, cherie?" Haruka murmured, rubbing her hand down Usagi's back in a comforting motion.

Usagi shivered, "Then a woman with red hair opened the door and draped herself across him, as if she was his or something…she laughed at me, and asked if 'this was her?' He just said yes and she asked if I was a little too young to be screwing…he didn't say anything, Ruka-chan. Nothing… He didn't…he didn't even look at me…he just looked straight through me…like I was never really there…maybe…maybe I never really was." Usagi whispered, a hot tear rolling down her cheek.

"Hey, hey…" Haruka tilted Usagi's chin up gently, "Look at me, Usako. You were always there. I watched the two of you together and envied what you had. It was this love that was unconditional. I watched, Usako, wishing it was…never mind…but you were always there, Usagi. It was him who wasn't." Haruka was glad for the cover of night, it hid her flushed face from Usagi's eyes.

"You wished it was what, Haruka-chan?" Usagi asked softly, straining to see Haruka's face in the dark. She couldn't. What was it that Haruka had almost said? 

"Nothing, I was just…never mind. It's not important okay?" 

"Okay…" Usagi said uncertainly. She wanted to know now.

Haruka shifted Usagi in her arms, "What happened next?"

"I ran out. He didn't say anything the entire time." Usagi sighed. It was starting not to hurt as much to think about. She was relaxed, Haruka was massaging her shoulders and the steady beat of her heart was soothing. Usagi closed her eyes and snuggled her face closer to Haruka's body. 

Haruka stiffened up, her breathing coming a little faster. This was not a good idea. Her body was screaming to take Usagi then and there, but Haruka knew that if she did, Usagi would never forgive her. She was not homosexual and never would be. That was the way it was and Haruka would have to deal with it with as much dignity as she could muster.

"Will you stay with me, Ruka-chan?" Usagi mumbled as she drifted away to sleep.

Haruka held her tighter, still rubbing her fingers into the girl's shoulders, "Hai, I will Usako." 

Then sleep over took her and she was gone, with her love nestled close in her arms, Haruka slept.


	6. Forgotten AN

Sorry, I forgot to put this in at the end of the last chapter. Thank you for all the nice reviews…okay, so there haven't been too many of them but thank you!

Just so you know:

Pourquoi pleurez-vous? = Why do you cry?

Cherie= sweetheart

Ma petite= directly translates into: my small one

Ma belle= my pretty

C'est bien=its okay (its fine)

Alrighty then…Hehe…^_^ just thought I'd clarify. Please review…I don't care if it's a good one or a bad one; I just want to know what you all think about it. Thank you!

~BeautifulDreamer


	7. Truly

Usagi woke up slowly, opening her eyes, briefly confused about her surroundings before she remembered the events of yesterday and last night. _Mamo-chan, _Usagi winced slightly at the sting the memory brought before she pushed it away. She was determined to forget about Mamoru and move on with her life.

This much made up in her mind, Usagi started to move to get up, but found she couldn't because of a heavy arm draped around her waist. Usagi tilted her head back. 

Haruka was sleeping heavily, still propped up against the wall behind her, her head resting on her shoulder. Occasionally, her black eye lashes would flutter on her smooth white cheeks. A small smile quirked at the edge of her mouth and Usagi was startled at the way her heart skipped to watch Haruka sleeping. Whisks of sandy blonde hair had fallen into her eyes as she slept and Usagi reached up, her fingers trembling slightly as she brushed them out of Haruka's eyes. 

Haruka stirred and opened her eyes leisurely, squinting at the sunlight filtering through the bedroom. Her green eyes were dark with sleep and they seemed to darken even more to find Usagi lying half way on top of her. 

Usagi's heartbeat quickened in a way she couldn't understand as she watched Haruka take her in, studying her face solemnly, then meeting her eyes. 

"Morning, Haruka-chan." Usagi said quietly, tucking a strand of her golden hair behind an ear. 

Haruka nodded, "Morning." She abruptly got up, and straightened out her shirt and pants. Her short hair was tousled and sticking up at odd angles in the back, and she had a line across her cheek from the seam in her shirt. 

Usagi didn't understand the reason for her companion's abrupt mood, and frowned. "Is there something the matter, Haruka-chan?" She asked, watching intently as Haruka grabbed a different pair of socks and yanked them on.

"No, why?" Haruka asked, not looking up. Her voice was husky and deep, as usual but there was some added strain to it.

 Usagi got up, and walked over, sinking down in front of Haruka slowly. When Haruka still didn't look at her, Usagi gently reached up and took her chin in her hand, turning her head until Haruka met her eyes. "Tell me what you wish, Haruka-chan." She demanded quietly, her cerulean blue eyes sparkling keenly.

Haruka found that she couldn't look away, she was drowning in a sea of blue and an agonizing feeling was eating away her heart. She couldn't do this. Usagi would turn away and never look back as she walked out the door forever. If she didn't tell her how she felt, at least she would still have Usagi around once in a while as a friend. 

Usagi could see the confusion and emotions chasing themselves across Haruka's face and flashing violently in her eyes. Then, Haruka closed her eyes slowly and when she opened them again, the confliction was gone, only to be replaced by a cool façade. Usagi's heart fell when she knew that Haruka would not tell what she had been about to say last night.

"Haruka-chan?" She asked when Haruka didn't say anything.

"Hai." Haruka stood up and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. 

Quickly, she turned on the water and began splashing her face, trying to wash away any kind of emotion. God, this was going to be harder than she thought. Waking up to Usagi like that had made her feel content for the first time in years. She couldn't keep this up. It was getting harder to fight the feelings she felt whenever Usagi was there. It didn't even matter if she was gone; Haruka still thought about her and anxiously waited the moment when she would see her again. 

Haruka turned off the water, smiling wryly at herself in the mirror. If Michiru was here right now, she would laugh gently and tease Haruka for turning soft over some young girl who had no idea what was going on inside Haruka's head.

She sighed and opened the door, padding softly out of the bathroom. Usagi wasn't in the bedroom. The bed was still unmade and Haruka stopped to look at it for a second, remembering the curve of Usagi's breast against her arm last night as she fell to sleep. She shivered and walked out into the living room, noticing that the sliding glass door was open and the curtains were billowing outward with a salty, warm breeze. 

Haruka paused in the doorway, watching Usagi silently.

Usagi was leaning against the railing for support, staring out at the ocean, her face full of awe. The morning sun was peeking over the roof of the building, a shaft of sunlight fell onto Usagi's face, illuminating her golden hair and making her eyes dance and sparkle like the ocean. 

"It's beautiful, non?" Haruka murmured, moving to stand beside Usagi at the rail. 

Usagi turned and looked at Haruka, warmth flowing through her. "Hai…it's lovely." She paused then took a breath, willing herself to ask, "Ruka-chan? Why were you so nice to me last night?"

Haruka shrugged, not taking her eyes off of the sea gull wheeling lightly in the morning sky. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You are always so…"Usagi searched for the word, "Serious. You never seem to take an interest in anyone."

Haruka winced slightly, "Is that how I seem?" She asked, her voice not betraying anything.

"Sometimes…not all the time…not last night." Usagi sighed and looked at the water. "You didn't have to take me to your house and treat me so good," She mumbled after a moment of silence, feeling like she was somewhat of a burden.

"I was nice to you because there was no one else there to take care of you, Usagi," Haruka said quietly, turning to look at Usagi, her eyes somber, "I didn't _have_ to take you home, I know but I did because I wanted to protect you." She looked away, "It hurt to see you cry like that…you should never be sad."

Usagi smiled, "Everyone gets their hearts broken once in a while and they live and move on. I'll get over it." 

Haruka was silent again, her expression closed. Impulsively, Usagi took her hand, holding it tightly, "Ruka, I don't understand why you are so solemn this morning. You barely are talking to me and there is something the matter but you won't tell me what it is."

Haruka turned to look at her again, her eyes still shuttered, "Usagi, you wouldn't understand." Then she turned away and went back into the bedroom and began making the bed.

Usagi followed her, "I wouldn't understand what, Ruka?" She stepped in between Haruka and the bed, grabbing the pillow from Haruka's hand. "Why won't you take a chance and tell me whatever it is that is bothering you. How do you know I wouldn't understand?"

Haruka's eyes darkened dangerously, "You want me to take a chance?" She asked, her voice quiet and intense. 

Suddenly, Usagi found herself in wrapped in Haruka's strong arms She could feel Haruka's warm breath on her lips when Haruka brushed her lips slowly against Usagi's. The touch sent bolts of liquid lightening through Usagi and she gasped slightly. Then suddenly, the light contact was gone and Haruka was standing with her hands clenched at her sides, breathing heavily, her eyes dark with the same emotion Usagi had seen in Mamoru's only last night.

"I took a chance on you." Haruka said, her voice low, "Do you think you understand, Usagi?" She asked, her voice laced with pain and longing. Usagi caught a glimpse of that pain in the taller girl's eyes before she stalked out of the room and into the kitchen.

Usagi sank down onto the edge of the bed, stunned. She could still feel Haruka's warm lips on her own and the liquid feeling that it ignited through her body. Her hands were shaking. Gods, she hadn't known she would react this way. It hadn't been a bad feeling, the brief kiss but it left her wanting more and aching inside for something only Haruka could fulfill.

What did this mean? Did Haruka want her? Did she want Haruka in that way? Or was it something more. Gods…she didn't know. All she knew was that she felt something for Haruka that had always been there, buried inside of her, waiting for the moment when it could be released. Now it was out and burning inside of Usagi with a vengeance.

She could hear Haruka in the kitchen, slamming cupboard doors and setting things down hard on the tile counter tops. Her anger and confusion made Usagi ache and she stood up, walking to stand at the kitchen door.

Some cupboard doors were askew and a couple of pots were sitting out on the counter. Haruka was still now, leaning against the counter, one hand cradling her face. Her shoulders were shaking slightly.

"Ruka?" Usagi whispered, wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist, and resting her head on Haruka's chest. "Ruka, I think I'm falling in love with you." That was not what she had been about so say but as soon as she said it, Usagi realized it was true, in her heart and soul.

Haruka froze, her face blank with surprise. "You what?"

Usagi looked up, her face earnest, "I don't understand it either but I feel something for you that I've never felt before. I want to be the one that makes you smile and makes life worth living. I want to be with you and I don't understand it but its how I feel and I would never try to change that." Usagi's face was flushed red and she looked away. All that had come out of no where. "If you don't feel the same way, then at least I told you."

Haruka shook her head slowly, the amazement slowly wearing off, "Usako, I…I don't know what to say…what about Mamoru?"

Usagi made a face, "What about him? I thought I was in love with him but I think that I was only in love with the idea of loving him. He was never truly there. You are. You always have been. You were always there when I needed to talk and you have always treated me like you cared for me."

Haruka shook her head slowly, "Are you sure you are feeling this way…maybe it's only rebound or something." Her voice was harsh as she said this, fearing that maybe this was too good to be true.

Usagi leaned up and brushed her lips across Haruka's, "I'm falling in love with you whether you agree to it or not…although it would be somewhat easier if you were supportive." She grinned impishly when Haruka looked at her blankly, "Oh, lighten up, Ruka. You are always so serious."

Then Haruka closed her eyes and when she opened them again, they were flooded with happiness. "Usako, you are truly—,"

"Wonderful, sexy, amazing, beautiful, the woman-of-your-dreams?" Usagi supplied, cocking her head.

"All of those things and more." Haruka smiled and swept Usagi up, running with her to the bedroom, then dropping her on the bed and falling onto the mattress next to her.


End file.
